Randy Packs: Hand drawn improbable sex-act trading cards
RandyPacks Series #1 are 20 collectible professionally printed cards, each drawn by a different artist. Cards come in a complete set which includes a cover/checklist card listing all of your favorite acts. Two bonus images can be discovered by flipping the cards over and solving the 9-piece puzzles. PURCHASE HERE.
What is the THE GRO UCHO SUNRISE?
When one lover smears a wide swath of soft poop onto their partner’s upper lip (using the finger or a penis as the tool), creating the illusion he/she has a mustache similar to the one worn by Groucho Marx. Ideally this is done in the morning to awaken one from slumber. (drawn by Michael Krueger)
What is a FROZEN EDDY?
The act of deficating into one's palm, being sure not to disturb the long, slender shape of the poop. Next, place it in a very cold place, prefferably a freezer and wait until the poop is rock solid. When ready, use it as an organic dildo on yourself or someone you love. (drawn by Scott Teplin)
What is THE POPCORN TRICK?
Buy some popcorn (with extra butter) at the movies. Quietly cut a hole in the bottom of the tub, just big enough to slide your boner through. Offer your lover some and make sure they reach to the bottom. (drawn by Alex Gingrow)
What is a TIARA TACO?
When you're performing connilingus from the back and as the woman orgasms, she loses all control and poops on your head. (drawn by Renee French)
What is a HOT LUNCH?
Pooping in your lover’s mouth. (drawn by Renee French)
What is a TOPEKA DESTROYER?
The act of vomiting directly onto your partner's head while you are receiving fellatio from them. (drawn by David DeGrand)
What is a THE GORILLA MASK?
An act involving a handfull of shaved pubic hair thrown in the face of an unsuspecting partner who just recieved a facial. (drawn by Adam Parker Smith)
What is the THE COYOTE?
The Coyote occurs when you wake up in the bed of an undesirable partner, and you know you've got to give him/her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around him/her. Therefore, you must gnaw off your own arm to get away. (drawn by Michael Scoggins)
What is a PEARL NECKLACE?
The passionate result of a man wanking (or being wanked) onto his lover's upper chest, neck and shoulders. (drawn by Sam Henderson)
What is the AUSTRALIAN DEATH GRIP?
The act of grabbing a man or woman by the haunches/crotch/penis and staring deeply into his/her eyes until you're slapped or kissed. A tactic weirdos might use is very crowded bars. Not recommended. (drawn by Steven Weissman)
What is a CLEVELAND STEAMER?
In this simple classic, one lover defecates on the chest of their partner. (created by Brent Birnbaum)
What is AMBUSHING PADDINGTON?
Towards the end of intercourse, a man pulls out and ejaculates all over his lover’s favorite unsuspecting stuffed animal. (drawn by Travis Millard)
What is a HOLE IN ONE?
The miraculous act of a man sticking his dick in his own ass. (9 piece puzzle on backs of cards drawn by Mark Dean Veca)
What is THE SELSUN BLOW?
The act of receiving fellatio from an individual who just moments earlier sucked on a strongly minted candy. Also known as “The Menthol.” (drawn by Vanessa Davis)
What is HOT-DOGGIN'?
The pseudo-sexual act of placing one’s penis between the butt cheeks of the receiving partner. The penis being the "Hotdog" and the butt cheeks being the "Bun". There is no intercourse and sometimes no ejaculation. A great activity for those who have taken a vow of chastity. (drawn by Marc Bell)
How does one perfom THE SANTA?
A male sits on his partner’s lap as he/she jerks him off. Then the jerkee ejaculates all over the jerker's chin, forming a white, sticky Santa-esque beard. (drawn by Justin Hall)
What is a ROMAN SHOWER?
Vomit play. (drawn by Christian Schumann)
What is the THE MILE HIGH CLUB?
The act of love-making in a flying airplane. (9 piece puzzle on backs of cards drawn by Jeff Roysdon)
What is an ALIEN BRAIN
When a dude pulls out his scrotum and squeezes his fist around the excess skin between where your scrotum is attached and where the actual testicles are, pulling the skin tight over the nuts to look like a veiney alien brain. It can work with a knee (while the leg is straight) if the situation dictates it to be more appropriate. (drawn by Ape Lad)
What is a DIRTY SAMMICH?
When an person making your sandwich stares at your ass the entire time s/he makes it. It may taste a little different. (drawn by Ivan Brunetti)
What is COUCH-BOMBING?
When you fill a small plastic baggy with lubricant and place it between the cushions on a couch. Then fuck the hell out of it as if it were your preferred orifice. (drawn by Taylor McKimmens)
How does one perform THE MOSES?
A partner goes down on a woman during her period. Derived from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea. (drawn by Tuan Nguyen)
What is a SOGGY BUSCUIT?
A circle of males stand around a cookie on the ground and they race to NOT be the last one to ejaculate on it. The last one who does has to eat it. (drawn by Kozyndan)
What is a RUSTY TROBMONE?
A partner wiggles his/her tongue in a man’s anus as while he/she reaches around to pump the penis, mimicking a trombone player. (drawn by Johnny Ryan)
